Old Timey Times

AT RISE:

SIR EDMUND WIGGLEBOTTOM and his most favored SCRIBE!

SEW:
I demand of you a play of true substance!

SCRIBE:
Would that be substance in a more metaphorical sense, or substance in terms of mass of the contents?

SEW:
I do not require a heavy play, my young scribbler. Seek not to pad the page length for mere weight considerations.

SCRIBE:
I shall jot that down, m'lord. Now in terms of metaphorical substance are we talking depth of meaning, or rather weight of the personnages contained therein?

A beat.

SEW:
Are you insulting my weight?

SCRIBE:
Never.

SEW:
I should hope not. Furthermore, if no insults are to be forthcoming, I should think it obvious the type of substance I was referring to.

SCRIBE:
Of course m'lord.

SEW:
Excellent. Have you a title in mind?

SCRIBE:
Of course.

SEW:
And what would that be?

SCRIBE:
"Donuts".

Rim shot!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.