Rivalry

AT RISE:

The AUTHOR sits in a chair, a pained looked playing across his face. The AUTHOR's BROTHER paces around him, animated.

AUTHOR'S BRO:
What's so hard about this, anyway? Huh? Huh? Here I've got one. Check this shit out.

"AT RISE:

A CHICKEN watches a Cary Grant movie. The Chicken rises."

CHICKEN:
Man, that is one dapper man.

BLACKOUT. FIN."

AUTHOR'S BRO:
See? The thing is you're just lazy. Here watch this, I'm gonna write a sequel. It will make me one billion dollars when it goes global. Bam.

AUTHOR:
Why do my rage daggers lack the dealy precision of their real-world counterparts?

AUTHOR'S BRO:
Probably because you're gay. BAM!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.