Monologosphere

AT RISE:

DOUG stands before the audience. He's naked, why not.

DOUG:
One time I was going to write one of these new-fangled internet plays that are sweeping the country with brilliance and grandeur and thought "Hey, I'm going to try something different! I'm going to write a one-man monologue play!". So I sat down and started to write. Rather well, if I do say so myself. But after the first ten lines or so I started to realize something. I started to realize that I wasn't writing a ground-breaking one-man internet play at all. I was writing a freaking blog post. Here I was, master of craft and nuance, working at what would have been the top of my game on a proper stage, and yet on the internet, or "internets" as it is also referred, I was the equivalent of an insanely brilliant 16 year old, writing a post about the mundanities of his day to day life. Now I guess I could analyze this in some sort of amazing highbrow essay, concerning the connections between theatrical stylings and internet fueled self absorbtion, perhaps even going so far as to point out the now labored portrayl of theatre folk as masters of self absorbtion, but I am a lazy, lazy man. So I will simply write a play, a silly, yet probing play, about the word "poo-poo".

He wiggles his buttocks.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.