Tutorial

AT RISE:

A GUY AT A TYPEWRITER sits, oddly enough, at a typewriter. He types! He is very efficent, a model of effective writing habits. I bet he writes first thing every morning, and shuns ecesses in all things to keep his mind sharp and fresh. That mother-luncher probably goes to bed at a reasonable hour, and always knows where his stories are going. I bet he even does outlines, the git. Oh, how I hate him. And so should you!

A MAN IN A RACOON SUIT runs into the room. He is very distracting.

MAN IN A RACOON SUIT:
I need to tell a story quickly and effectively within severe length limitations. TEACH ME HOW.

MAN AT A TYPEWRITER:
Beginning. Middle. End. Set up a problem early and resolve it, or use a clear lack of resolution as a form of resolution.

MAN IN A RACOON SUIT:
Your generalizations do not reflect my specific problem. I SENSE CONFLICT THAT MUST BE RESOLVED.

MAN AT A TYPEWRITER:
The solution to your problem or problems is simple: don't mice words.

He hurls a throwing star at the man in the racoon suit, striking him in the head.

MAN IN A RACOON SUIT:
So efficient! And with space to spare!

He dies.

MAN AT A TYPEWRITER:
Don't do drugs!

Thumbs up!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY. GIVE YOUR MOTHER A HUG, WHY DON'T YOU.