Pastiche

AT RISE:

Something happens. What? Beats me. Why don't you try thinking something up now and then. Sigh. I gues that's not the deal, is it. Okay, fine. There's an explosion, and scraps of newsprint fall to the ground like ticker tape. A NEWSIE enters, eating an apple. On the opposite side of the stage, a DAPPER MAN enters.

DAPPER MAN:
What's all this then?

NEWSIE:
Nothing worth worrying about. The newspaper's exploded.

DAPPER MAN:
Are you referring to the physical object, or the organization that prints and distributes said object.

NEWSIE:
Both.

DAPPER MAN:
Oh.
(beat)
Which paper was it?

NEWSIE:
All of them.

DAPPER MAN:
Oh. Shouldn't you be more concerned?

NEWSIE:
Probably.

DAPPER MAN:
I see.

NEWSIE:
Do you?

DAPPER MAN:
No.

A beat. The Newsie eats his apple.

DAPPER MAN:
Would you care to accompany me on a fantasical globe-trotting adventure featuring machines the push the boundaries of steam-powered locomotion?

NEWSIE:
I thought you'd never ask.

And they skip off together. A DUSTMAN enters and begins to sweep the newspaper into a large pile.

DUSTMAN:
Ain't that always the way.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.