Ensemble

AT RISE:

DOUG, PENNY, GEORGE, MANNY, CECILIA, JOHN, HOPE, GARY, LIZ, BENNY, FELICIA, LAUREN, KELLY, PHIL, and JACOB stand around.

DOUG:
Penny, I love you.

PENNY:
I know Doug. George, I'm pregnant.

GEORGE:
I know, Penny. With my baby! Sorry, Doug.

DOUG:
S'cool. I did, after all, share an elicit cinnamon bun with Cecilia.

CECILIA:
I only agrred to that bun as revenge on Manny for spending every Sunday with Hope!

MANNY:
I was reading her the paper!

HOPE:
I'm blind! Blind because of John!

JOHN:
But it wasn't I who was driving the car that blinded you, Hope! It was Gary!

GARY:
Only because I was drugged...by Liz!

LIZ:
Those drugs were meant for Benny, and you know it!

BENNY:
Thank god I didn't want any iced tea that afternoon.

LIZ:
Of course not, you had spent all morning drinking mojitos with Felicia!

FELICIA:
Only because he happened to walk by my house as I was mixing them on the front porch.

LAUREN:
In the middle of the morning?

FELICIA:
Don't dare judge me, Lauren, not after you drowned my baby!

LAUREN:
That baby was an asshole!

PHIL:
Yes, but it was my asshole baby!

KELLY:
Shut up Phil, we all knew you wanted that baby dead. Then you would have its fortune all to yourself!

PHIL:
Kelly! How could you!

JACOB:
My name is Jacob and I have nothing to add to this conversation!

And they all died.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.