Odds and Ends

AT RISE:

A MAN and a WOMAN stand around. You know how it is.

MAN:
Are we in line or something?

WOMAN:
Yes?

MAN:
Was that sarcasm, or honest confusion?

WOMAN:
Honest confusion. Sorry, you know how hard it is to imply inflection in text.

MAN:
Do I ever. Wait.

WOMAN:
What?

MAN:
That wasn't text.

WOMAN:
Then what am I reading?

MAN:
Nothing!

WOMAN:
Well that can't be true. How else would I know what you're saying?

MAN:
Because we're having a conversation. With our mouths.

WOMAN:
Yuck. That sounds disgusting.

MAN:
I guess I could have phrased it better.

WOMAN:
Yes.
(beat)
So I guess we settled that mystery, huh?

MAN:
Uh.. no?

WOMAN:
Great! Talk to you later!

MAN:
What?

She is unresponsive, staring off into space.

MAN:
What?

A long-ass beat.

MAN:
Closure?

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.