Problem Solving

AT RISE:

DAN and STEVE.

STEVE:
So what's it been? A week?

DAN:
A little less.

STEVE:
A little less than a week.
(beat)
You should call her.

DAN:
You know it's really quite extraordinary, the degree to which I disagree with you.

STEVE:
I can tell I'm right. You're over-speaking.

DAN:
I'm afraid I haven't the slightest notion of what you're....Oh. That.

STEVE:
Yes.

DAN:
Well, I still think you're wrong.

STEVE:
No you don't.

DAN:
No I don't.

STEVE:
So why not call?

DAN:
Couldn't say. Suppose I'm not in the mood for pity.

STEVE:
She doesn't pity you.

DAN:
Great. Fantastic. That leaves a wide array of other negative feelings for me to worry about.

STEVE:
Oh shut up.

DAN:
No.

STEVE:
Yes.

DAN:
No?

STEVE:
Yes. Besides, the world's a crazy place. Maybe things will turn out okay. Or at least less crappy.

DAN:
Hrmm. I hope not.

STEVE:
Why.

DAN:
Well if that's the case, what would I complain about?

A long beat.

STEVE:
Give me your phone.

Dan hands Steve his phone. Steve dials. After a moment, the sound of a woman answering. He tosses the phone to Dan.

DAN:
(not unkind)
I hate you.

STEVE:
(nodding)
I know.

Steve exits. Dan takes a deep breath, and puts the phone to his ear.

STEVE:
Hi.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.