Patent Leather Pumps

AT RISE:

The AUTHOR sits at a computer. He looks stricken. A NONDESCIPT, POSSIBLY IMAGINARY FIGURE lounges around in the background.

AUTHOR:
Argh!

N,PI,F:
What?

AUTHOR:
I'm out of words.

N,PI,F:
What, like writer's block?

AUTHOR:
No, much more interesting.

N,PI,F:
Ah, of course. Any possible solutions?

AUTHOR:
Negative.

N,PI,F:
Then I shall try a vocabulary infusion.

AUTHOR:
This is going to get silly, isn't it.

N,PI,F:
No.
(beat)
Rutagbega, participle, box, muffin, digiridoo, steam engine, inert, curtains, panel, eskimo, Lake Victoria, mattress pad, spinal column, halberd, icebreaker, sourgum, cotton, Eli Whitney, porpoise, mastodon.

AUTHOR:
Eli Whitney is a proper noun.

N,PI,F:
Then all is for naught!

The room explodes!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.