Cheeseburger Bonanza

AT RISE:

GLENN and BECK.

GLENN:
Hey, Beck.

BECK:
Hey, Glenn.

GLENN:
So I can’t help but notice this play is entitled “Cheeseburger Bonanza”

BECK:
Yup. That seems to be the case.

GLENN:
You know, by the literal definition, that would mean a rich vein of cheeseburger, similar to a gold deposit in a mine.

BECK:
True, but it could also be referring to some sort of cheeseburger related windfall. For instance, you might have won many pounds of cheeseburger in a contest.

GLENN:
I can’t help but notice that both of those premises are a little bit gross, Beck.

BECK:
True. The first one especially would entail that within the Earth’s crust is a layer of meat patties covered with cheese.

GLENN:
That would lead to a lot of problems, in terms of topographic stability.

BECK:
I can imagine it now…..

GLENN:
Me too….

They trail off and look into the distance. A beat.

BECK:
Nope, I was right.

GLENN:
Yeah, that’s just gross.

SUDDENLY! An earthquake! The ground opens up, and our heroes plunge into a huge fissure in the very surface of the Earth! Cheeseburgers fly out of the fissure and into the audience! It’s awesome!

BECK:
(from the fissure)
Hmm, this appears to be…

GLENN:
A CHEESEBURGER BONANZA!

A beat.

BECK:
Was it obvious that we didn’t have a punchline?

GLENN:
Nah, we’re cool.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.