Illicit Cheeseburgers

AT RISE:

Two cheeseburgers, BRAD and PITT in a car. BRAD looks nervous.

PITT:
What’s the matter, Brad?

BRAD:
I dunno, Pitt. I’ve just got a bad feeling.

PITT:
You think someone narc’d us out?

BRAD:
Naw, man. Nothing like that. It was just… that girl at the grocery store looked at us funny on our way out. You think she knows?

PITT:
Of course not, man. You’re just being paranoid. There’s no way she could tell our secret. The secret that makes us so very illicit.

BRAD:
But the way she was looking at us..

PITT:
I don’t care if she was looking at us through a pair of magnifying monocles! There’s no way she could tell just by looking at us that we’re…..CLONES!!!!!

Music plays a big old DUM DUM DUMMMMMMM!

PITT:
Get it? Because cloning’s illegal?

BRAD:
Yeah, I get it man.

PITT:
I know you get it, I was talking to, you know, some kind of…everyone.. Just shut up, okay?

They drive on in silence. After a moment, Brad turns on the radio. Jimmy Buffet’s “Cheeseburger in Paradise” plays. Pitt sighs.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.