Kitchen Sink

AT RISE:

A working class couple, JACK and OZZIE. They sit at a small kitchen table.

JACK:
I feel oppressed.

OZZIE:
By society?

JACK:
Sure.

OZZIE:
Ah, the toil of the Irish Laborer at this particular period in American History!

JACK:
I'm not Irish.

OZZIE:
You're not?

JACK:
Not even a little. My family is straight Scandanavian.

OZZIE:
Well that's not nearly as interesting.

JACK:
I can't believe you didn't know that! I mean, my last name is Fjord.

OZZIE:
I thought it was a quaint town in the heath!

JACK:
Quaint town in the heath? It refers to jagged rocky crags abutting the vast and merciless sea!

OZZIE:
If you say so.

JACK:
I do.

OZZIE:
(sighing)
You know, your problems don't seem nearly as interesting anymore.

A beat.

OZZIE:
You couldn't just speak in a light brogue, could you?

JACK:
Never!

OZZIE:
Then I'm afraid I'm going to have to end this marraige. Good day to you.

She walks out.

JACK:
Ah well, at least I'll get a memoir out of this.

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.