Regrettable

AT RISE:

A MAN stretches languidly. He is having a great time, and feels no need to rush, audience be damned. After a good minute or so of this, a DUDE enters.

DUDE:
Hey, man.

MAN:
(continuing to strecth)
Hey, dude.

DUDE:
Stretching?

MAN:
You know it, brother.

DUDE:
Hell yeah I do.

The Dude begins to stretch, but somehow manages to be completely terrible at it.
Suddenly, the PLAYWRIGHT loses track of his work, and some PIRATES appear.

PIRATE 1:
We are pirates, for those uninitiated in the ways of seafaring rogues such as we.

DUDE:
Watch out, Man! Pirates!

MAN:
I see em', Dude.

He continues to stretch.

MAN:
So, is there anything in particular you guys wanted?

PIRATE 2:
Nah, just putting our names out there, you know.

MAN:
I can accept that.

PIRATE 1:
Cool.

Everyone just kind of STANDS AROUND.

DUDE:
So-

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.