Play Number 50, or: Re-occuring Themes, or: Hubris

AT RISE:

A GUY and a GIRL are onstage. Also, some more GUYS. And some PEOPLE. Some of the people have names, but they will be forgotten momentarily. Some of them, it should be noted, are LIBRARIANS.

One of the GUYS is nude. Rock and Roll!

Also hanging about the increasingly cluttered stage: a NUDE MAN, GIANT SQUID, A MAN who apears to have a sperm whale for a head, a POTTED PLANT, Two TURTLES, one named FRANK, some CATS and other ASSORTED OBJECTS BOTH ANIMATE AND INANIMATE. At some point in the evening, they will all talk. Or not.

Suddenly: The stage directions take a marked turn into metatexual self-reference! The Audience SWOONS, the actors LAUGH! Everyone has a TERRIFIC TIME!

Oh, wait. Neither the audience nor (perhaps) the actors have read the stage directions, and thus this turn into self-aware comedy is only noticed by the select few who actually READ PLAYS. These people are widely regarded to be extremely silly, but well meaning over all.

The nude man wiggles his buttocks, and everything onstage disappears into a cloud of stardust.

Because to the audience this has all taken place in a matter of seconds, they are perhaps confused as to the point of it all. Thus the AUTHOR feels the need to indert himself into the action. As is usual in these situations, he arrives in a shower of sweet-smelling rose petals and a burst of lyrical song.

AUTHOR:
When I say: "Random statement, either philosophical, nonsensical, or extremely literal!", You say:

AUDIENCE:
Encouragement of original statement via reciprocation or question! Elements of whimsy! A structure based on light deconstruction of the mechanisms of dramatic storytelling!

AUTHOR:
Yes!

The lights dim, until there is only a spot on the Author.

AUTHOR:
If I can be serious for just a moment, I'd like to insert one of my patented pleas for audience support for a product I feel is somewhat lacking in quality!

AUDIENCE:
These are the things we have come to expect from our internet-based theatrical entertainments!

AUTHOR:
Huzzah!

He runs through the Audience, high-fiving every single one of them. This can take upwards of 20 minutes if performed properly. And it should always be performed properly.

BLACKOUT.

EPILOGUE:

A YOUNG MAN sits at a desk, typing at a computer. After a few seconds of concentration, he gives a small chortle. He makes a final keystrokem and leans back in his chair.

YOUNG MAN:
They will absolutely hate this one.

He laughs, then turns to the audience>

YOUNG MAN:
Thanks for reading!

He does some sign language. You are VERY IMPRESSED by his senstivity.

YOUNG MAN:
I'll see you next time!

BLACKOUT. END PLAY.